Quotes About Mothers

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."—Honore de Balzac

"A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary."—Dorothy Canfield Fisher.
"The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children."—Jessica Lange

"Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all."—Oliver Wendell Holmes.
"A mother's arms are made of tenderness, and children sleep soundly in them."—Victor Hugo

"Mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."—Marion C. Garretty.
"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child."—Sophia Loren.
"Mother, the ribbons of your love are woven around my heart."—Anonymous

Dumb Laws- Alabama

Silly laws are everywhere! Here's just a few in the state of Alabama (please keep in mind that many are not enforced, just still on the books) : 


Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.


You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.


Masks may not be worn in public.



It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.


It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.



Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.


It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.



Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.



It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.



In Auburn, Alabama- Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.


No person may spit on the floor of a church.


These are just a few of the wacky laws in Alabama! Do you have any to add?

Facebook Statuses- 2017

There's a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it's called alcohol.


I accidentally swallowed a bunch of lego pieces. I'm just wondering if I'm gonna sh*t a brick tomorrow..


 When going through airport customs and you are asked "Do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "why, what do you need?"


I just got back from a mile long walk in your shoes and I still think you're a douchebag.



Do ducks play "me, me, goose"?


Shouldn't there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel's mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man's shed?"


 When Robert E. Lee was in high school, I wonder if he was voted Most Likely to Secede.


Not to brag but my new mistress is a lingerie model. OK, fine. A mannequin. But she doesn't talk much and I like that.


If you don't own a dog whistle you can use two teenage girls who haven't seen each other in a month.


My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.

Halloween Funny

I want to be something really scary for Halloween. So this year, I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 3%.

Add 'sexy' to anything and it instantly becomes a female Halloween costume.

I need to stop lying to myself ... This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween

I'm not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.

I don't know what's scarier. Houses with Halloween decorations or houses that still have up Christmas decorations from last year.

Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger's property and make a non-negotiable demand.

Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal.

I'm surprised kids haven't found a way to trick or treat online yet.

Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.

Romantic Quotes

Love isn't something you find. Love is something that finds you.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.

You can't blame gravity for falling in love.

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. 

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

Valentine's Day Status Updates: Funny

I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine's day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.


Please accept this bundle of fragrant plants grown expressly to be killed while in their prime as a token of my love for you.

My wife keeps leaving magazines lying around with the jewelry ads circled. I got the hint. For Valentine's Day she’s getting a magazine rack.

Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.

If you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.

I just wanted to tell you, on this very special Valentine’s Day: I’m exceptionally thankful you lowered your standards enough to date me.


Wants to remind you that nothing says "I love you" more than somebody else's words mass produced on re-cycled paper.


I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentines Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

Love Sayings and Quotes

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.” 
― William W. Purkey

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.” 
― André Gide, Autumn Leaves
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”
― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” 
― Maya Angelou

“When I am with you, we stay up all night.
When you're not here, I can't go to sleep.
Praise God for those two insomnias!
And the difference between them.” 
― Rumi

“Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.” 
― Mitch Albom

“When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.” 
― Arrigo Boito

“He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” 
― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights


“For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.” 
― Stephanie Perkins, Anna and the French Kiss