People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away
Ironically the only way I'd watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
The hardest part about being rejected is that I end up liking them even more as a person for their ability to make great decisions.
If the Government needs to hide top secret information the safest place would be after the skip in 5 seconds ads.
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
“I don’t watch TV” proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet.
No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers.
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a motherfucker know.
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