First Batch

Dear Kanye: roses are red. Violets are blue. If bieber wins another award... You know what to do.

Really wish my Laundry were asexual... So it would do itself...

There are two reasons why I would never drink toilet water. Number one. And number two.

The Pillsbury Doughboy Passed away today...Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

is EXPECTING!! I know, I know, it's crazy isn't it? I can't believe it myself. I wasn't going to put it on here because it's obvious but wanted to make it official. I mean who would have guessed that we are expecting!! Yes it's official. We are expecting slight snowfall tonight.

so warning: the next time anyone says "i don't know if i should laugh or cry"... Imma kick you really hard in the shin.. To help make up your mind.

you shouldn't dwell on your past failures and regrets.. You can't fall on something behind you.